Photo-generic

The images contained in this section are as much as I have given into filming my life, or recently that is because I've always been jealous of the people who seem to have an infinite amount of pictures of growing up when I usually chose personal memories. Besides the miscellaneous pics, I've basically divided them up into friends from three different parts of my life; the East Coasters, the Small Towners, and those rowdy College Punks. If you're not on here and you think you should be, either send me a picture to be posted or find me on the street and threaten me, either way you might get something done. Enjoy!

The Infamous TFD (aka Third Floor Daum, aka University of Iowa Men's Honors Floor, aka Most Troublesome Floor in all of Campus' Dorms). My freshman year was spent in this now infamous site, where I met some of the smartest, funniest and craziest people I will ever get the chance to know. From strangers into best friends, this place honeycombed young go-getters into groups that brought action to every part of the college experience. Troublemakers galore, property damage was excessive and reoccurring, but mostly it was comic in nature. We could always be seen traveling in packs to go eat, grumble to class or just to invade the bars. The level of nintendo and computer game playing was appalling, the decibels of music playing was deafening and the level of alcohol consumed (one semester's worth of liquor bottles above) was staggering. Through and through, fights broke out, feelings were hurt, the regurgitation club's numbers grew and many a heart was broken and donkey-punched; however, I've never seen a floor where most doors were unlocked and a few never closed, even when no one was home! I take pride in my TFD heritage, it's an acronym for some of the best memories and friends of this four year campaign.

This is Susan, the Herb, the infallible Grassroots, whose love for horses and riding big burly mammals can put you on the edge of hating all that is equestrian. But her sex appeal in leather gear, boorish behavior/candy sweetness and the fact that she parties as hard as they come (as shown) can make you beg for her presence at any occasion. That's Randall, her beau, chillin beside her. He's the only person on earth who has ever publicly beat me at arm wrestling, but since I was slightly drunk and he goes to VMI I might just ignore the handicap. Oh yeah, Susan's infamous temper once resulted in a clothesline of another girl in a friendly football game!

Karyn is beyond measure in friendship terms, my best lady friend by far after a short, sordid stint at dating failed when we were both awkward freshmen. I've shared more information then she's ever cared to know and I usually demand the same from her. I've nearly gone out with every one of her friends, which she has kindly tolerated. Unfortunately I can't say the same about her dating situation. I think every guy she hooks up with is a spaz and that the only solution to our fledgling dating pool is to get married in Vegas at 35 if we're still both single. She got me hooked on the dreamy genotype of petite red-headed girls, who are both smart and sassy and into anything stupidly humorous. She has a transsexual cat, horrible sleeping habits and the distinction of passing out everytime she gives blood for charity! l can safely say there is no other female on the planet that I would be more willing to spend the rest of my life in company with , though intolerable in her actions at U.Va, I will always love this Irish lass, and her casper white ass.

This pugnacious character (a.k.a. John Garcia) has charisma written all over him: in his company personal stories are unfurled in humor and philosophies are wrought (mostly concerning women troubles and his fascination with future technology). FAC has been the just of our friendship, its the time where we can blow off our stupid engineering classes and blast each other for stupid dating mistakes. Afterwards we pass out in my room for about four hours, wake up and eat a pizza, get into a wrestling match, make another week long truce, and if we don't get ready to go out again we get right back to our ramblings on life. Between us and our shot callings in my room, I think we've toasted to Braveheart's Freedom!!! about 58 times. This kid can write on a long train of thought, and its like something out of a movie, infact I bet in ten years he will be a script writer and there will be a character named Boo that gets shot up in the first scene. I trust him enough to cut my hair so it leaves little doubt that when college life gets out of reach, I'll be in need of anybody's company but the kid who will be forever known by my Dad as "the little punk who carved/burnt his name into my loft." P.S. Our apartment together next year will be the epicenter of campus carnage and you're all invited...

much time either at student health getting doctored up or lying uuuunconscious in a room that (blame Tex, Matt says) has the look of a UNICEF warehouse. Mountains of foodstuffs and laundry (clean and not), a ready to make bonfire of textbooks, a sink that has a five o'clock shadow and tunes eternally creeping out of hidden speakers. Tex really isn't from Texas, he's from Council-tucky, which is just a few miles north of my home. He's basically TFD's John Belushi, with a prodigal sense of chemistry and a weakness for smokes and tuna fish with hot sauce. Matt has the tendency to make any situation hilarious, he's the guy you want to listen to your stories and to stay away from sharp objects when you trash talk the 49ers or his sour lime drinks. If you praise the Michigan State basketball team he'll lose it. These guys are always trouble when they're out on the night, Tex usually injures himself spontaneously and Matt's right eye gets paralyzed after only so many. In other words Matt will forever be cleaning that room, and getting Marta's props.

Jenn was my first love, she was my perfect match in every field; eating, telling dirty jokes, and of course, butt-kicking. She was national champion in karate and made me remember it everyday in school. I have every one of the 516 emails we wrote one another, every doodled note she wrote me in Physics class. I remember every inside joke, every secret, every scary thought we shared, experienced and buried in a past now covered with the long neglected correspondence. My sisters even named my dog after her, its their version of flattery. She's currently living it up in VA beach as an RA, student government VP, and basically wrapped up in running every possible managing position available at CNU. For the only girl that had me looking over football for her, she'll always be my Charlie and I'll forever be her butt-naked commando...ask her about it sometime.

These two "rico-suave's" usually go by their aliases of Sean and Christian when they're not goofing off in their twisted world of butt-sex and ATO (Alpha Tau Omega). Sean was voted high fashion's man of the year, he balls like J Will, doesn't get fat off the beer, ice in his ear, you can call him a scatman but he just don't care. You can't deny him, why would you want to? P-A-T-R-I-O-T, he started a frat, he used to room with me, the leader of the Students for Bush, you can blame him for W's victory. He's got political aspirations, a fast ride, a girl down in 'Zona and frat lackey's on the side. So if you want to party up with this dynamic duo, listen to some scat-a-licious ideas about poo-oh, hit me up and I'll tell you-oh, how they really got their names ;o

These guys' names almost roll off the tongue as a phrase, the only TFDers to room two years in a row, they certainly have a unique chemistry about them. Their room is forever being used as a launch pad for the devious plans of the floor, even though for some reason they are constantly being roomed next to the floor gastapo. Doc is truly the mad scientist of TFD, the computer whiz that decors their residence with synthesized photos of Hilarity and medical mayhem. Infact it was this man who made the infamous photo of our Physics professor as the evil dictator and Hitler bootlick he was. Otis brings the bite to the mix; his intolerance of ignorance, bullshit calls (on the courts or in the video game world) and a weak mixed drink carry the sounding Hoooo, through the building. Splitting up next year will not be the same without their lounging room, I'll miss that bean bag chair like a family member. But in memory I can always cherish Doc's sinister laugh at people's foolish expense and the soundly made "Otis Special" as well as their philosophy on all things ridiculous.

These two guys are the most brilliant, irrational and highly favored to own a Mexican Fun/Whore house in 20 years. Fers has been kicked out of several bars (once for pissing too long), rode a shopping cart down a hill (before Jackass aired) played Keyboard for the Elevator Music Band and popped a blood vessel in his eye through extensive vomiting after winning the campus burrito eating contest. Moo works at a porn shop for summer work, gives degrading (yet highly humorous) names to stupid girls, is a member of Iowa's Drumline, and if you asked him to cut his hair, he'd tell you to go suck a cheetah's dick. By and by look out for these two, TFD's most likely to succeed.

Big Dylie didn't just get his name from his stature; you could say it best portrays his appetite for domestic and imported beers, or his skill at fantasy football or most likely, the size of the poor people's eyes who saw him streak down the dorm hall after he accidentally disrobed while streaking to the porcelain alter. Dylan's forte is his knowledge of beer, he's been working at the Iowa City's beer depot for some time now and has acquired a true professional taste. His future apartment roommate is Mike McConney, a whiskey-swillin', Amsterdamn chillin', crazy story tellin' fool who splits his history between a boarding school in PA and the city of sin, LA. Mike's forever helping me battle stupid lab reports and the ridiculously low female hot body count in the Engineering department. Together Dilly, Mike and the Chi-towner Trnka will make a great pad to chill at next year, I always look forward to Dylan's donkey punch remarks and McConney's gripes about his current residence in the boondocks. Snorky.

Ai-ee this pair will get on your nerves in a second, I just chased Tony out with fists of fury. Art is the second half of this duo, he just got kicked out of his dorm room for verbally abusing an RA! If you wanted to play six degrees of relation at this campus, knowing these guys will get you more than half, it's almost laughable how many people know them, the Russians, the twins, the two little punks who get in fights all the time, dog all the girls, and always come around with the most outrageous stories of any college experience. With Mir now gone, they're about the only hope Russia has of getting itself out of a hole, but thinking a bit harder, I'd have to say the opposite is true.

Who's that with the O.E. 40 in his hand? Why its TFD's honorable president at large, Bill! Well I can't say too much about him, he's leaving these confines to join a lousy frat, bah! But in any doubt Bill has been a mainstay in TFD relations, busying himself in the affairs of hall politics, supporting the Demies, and trying to decide with branch of the military he can get the highest position from. Keep him in mind for the 2030 elections, he'll shun the Hoover image this state has been kept under, with a platform of mandatory liquor dosage, TFD privileges and no more damn shovel faces!

Mr. Jared King can be held responsible for many things during my stay at Glenwood: skipping the last period in high school to go dunk over the elementary kids on their on court, helping me get lost on our way to the clubs in Omaha, picking up the beer bottles in my yard and evading the cops after I had the biggest house party ever, and in some cases making me buy fashionable wardrobe when I have money burning a hole in my pocket. Most of all Kinger has helped me acclamate to this country bumpkin life, its always a road trip adventure where ever we go, always bumpin' tunes in his car, trying to forget the long summer we spent as security guards at the Casino, being the new studs on the boat we had to hold our utility belts up and say "Sorry, not while we're on duty!" Jared's over at UNK in Nebraska, far enough away to keep us silent until the summer reins trouble again. We're looking to hopefully score the same jobs this summer, maybe then I can buy his dad a new fishing pole because I accidentally threw it into the lake when we were fishing. How embarrassing!

Folks if he's crazy enough to ride a bike through a department store before his Prom, he must be Mormon. Seriously Cam is always down for something spontaneous, always bringing back the hardcore dance moves from the 80's in the clubs and bumpin' in downtown Omaha. Infact one night Cam and I drove around the Old Market with a supersoaker and targeted a limo and its sunroof dancers. I can't help laughing when I remember how many times we snuck up on them and they just couldn't escape back into the limo fast enough. Cam's stuck in Ohio for another year on his mission and believe it or not he's not aloud to use email or the phone, so this goes as a reminder to write Cam and tell him how much G-town misses the blonde kid.

The first day of class in a new high school was already stressful enough, luckily this girl was sweet enough to hound me with questions and make me feel awkward as the newest kid in town. Maybe hounding wasn't the best word but later in the year it sure was something different when she picked my back clean of blackheads and dead skin while I tired to study in Calc class, ew! Amberly has always been giving me a reason to question my first judgments of people, every phonecall we had I'd usually say I had her figured out and could solve all her life's problems, she always made me wrong. She taught me catch phrases like "all get out" and "intertube-belly", she tried to get me to cave into religion, I went to church for the first time in ten years just to appease her. Well even if she can't get god into my life, I'll always welcome her in, with a heart the size of her "Trask-mobile."

The most good-hearted soul I know, Lori is a sturdy pillar of morality I can always lean against and whittle at. She works at a drive-through bank and I always pull in just to hear how much gossip she has picked up from the town. Even though she's way to smart to settle as an elementary teacher, she'll be the best at whatever she does, and will continue to keep me safe in her sweet prayers and her Jesus-mobile.

These lovely ladies are always eager for fun. I've known Sonia forever, I was her stalker in 8th grade and we never looked at the word "Vale-DIC-torian" the same way again. She's about the smoothest talker around, totally hot in a swimsuit and always has me grinnin' when she comes out with the mean football talk and sexual innuendo. Danielle has been her accomplice for a few years now; belting out the same stimulating songs, crushing all in co-ed football (that's how I gave her the title Killer) and just doubling up the trouble they cause Jason in good ol' Blacksburg, VA. Noodle!

It's a Fox-y girl , a phat '66 Mustang and some guy named Brett. He's Jason's roommate, a lifeguard in his off-time and an Engineer major when he feels like it. She's a telecom director, she has the funniest away messages in the world and she once called me Goodie Burns after we read the Crucible. Together it makes a very nice picture.

Its been over a year since we talked, but I still believe the best of our days are still ahead. I met her through flirting and it was always trouble after that; we reveled in each other's poetry and Spring's rainy afternoons. It was always spontaneous and passionate, she moved when I came back to VA for my first yearly visit and has been stuck in the South since. It got difficult in the silence, but we made it all up in our correspondence. She once had me almost ready to runaway to Alabama to see her again, I was stopped by a last second delay of logic and my Dad's dismissing of my foolishness and potential disownment. Its been many months since I've heard of her whereabouts, I fear her precarious heart might be endanger but I know I will always wait patiently for the chance to be her sanctuary.

I just have to admit I'm a sucker for her big brown eyes and the hugs that I could never get enough of. If Amberly wasn't around, it was Melissa in my ear, dabbling in philosophy with me and often making me blush when she'd smile and tell me how I had some deep understanding of something from the heart.. She's currently attending the University of Nebraska, never around on break, and I sigh when I think about her smile.

If I ever found a girl to match my acid-tongue, it'd be this one. I think our regular conversation is just a warm-up for arguments. We agreed our relationship was based on undermining the others confidence, it was pretty sick but we always had fun turning it against other people in the end. She's in love with French Impressionism, J. Crew and her kittens. We turned everything into competition, either at the gym (motivational criticism) or just to see who could get up a flight of stairs quicker. We confide in each other more than we'd like to admit, give up way too much slack to the other, its a love hate relationship really, I love her to admit I'm right, but I hate her because I never get to. She smacked me pretty hard one day, but I forgive her because it's all I can do to impress her. Camel-toe!