Me familia

The Six Degrees of Matt Burns | home

Nature vs. Nurture, You can blame these people for only so much.

This is the fam, the Burns company, the people I just can't seem to get rid of, or the other way around. We're just about your typical family, we have all the typical syndromes and home-life orientated disorders. When my dad joined the Air Force in the mid 80's we started on our long odyssey through the US and growing together. Logging countless hours in a car helped us become tolerant of each other for the most part, but I think the thirty or so cross-country trips in a compact car is the source of my sisters' determination to kill that same vehicle that is the ultimate pass-me-down in our family. In all we've inhabited six states, about two residences in each, and actually lived in a motel for three months (minus Dad), consequences of playing that dangerous home selling game. The numerous family vacations have always been excruciating (someone's got to be moody), we love to play cut throat board games, and we still eat dinner together and watch the news whenever we're all back.

Myself, Megan and Keely celebrating yet another collective birthday.

Keely and me have been a team ever since the cradle: being locked in our rooms together we made up our own weird games and later on used Megan as a disposable, cheap source of fun. Keely has grown out of her oddball, middle child ways, sorta, she still collects sugar packets, thinks meat is evil and now seems to wear only clothing with her sorority (Sigma Kappa) emblem on it. My friends at home are well aware of the comic potential she carries, its easy to make fun of someone who has mild dislexia and a complete lack of coordination. She's currently enrolled at Northwest Missouri State University, she's doing something with Public Relations or Spanglish or something, but she keeps the family proud by bouncing checks and her floormates self-interest, and always wondering why people shake their head at her, even when not greeting.

My parents have influence my personality traits far more than anybody lets me believe. My Dad is an upcoming Lt.Col. in the Air Force, leaving for Saudi in the summer. He needs to be kept busy constantly, else he drinks coffee and watches the learning channel. He worked himself through college literally, working nights and going to class during the day, he really never had the chance to have fun at school. He's naturally gung-ho, the military forced him to inflict that on everybody, the man never lets me sleep in past nine, unless I lock the door and pretend I didn't hear him. Then he usually sprays my window with the garden hose until I come out. He is self taught in most everything and always wants to do it his way. I know this is where I get it from. My Mom on the other hand is easy going and very caring; she raised me on Rock and Roll and large amounts of food (I've never complained about dinner my whole life!) She knows the health care field inside out and is currently working at the city's health clinic for the poor, its a noble cause. She sometimes taunts me with a wooden spoon, once I put her in a submission move, she loves South Park and I use her as the middle man in negotiations with my Dad. The two are the perfect combo for me, pushing me on one side and while reminding me what I'm striving for on the other. They're role models for the recent decay of marriage, they met in church, married out of highschool, had the kids, moved around alot, are separated regularly and always seem to find the right mode of arguing and make up foot massages. I'll definitely be making trips back home so my Mom doesn't get lonely during my Dad's one year tenure in Saudi, if you knew how much she depends on him, it'd melt your heart. Infact, I'd have to say the closest thing I have to get a feeling of what love is, is standing between the two, all smiles, all you could ask for...

Dad, Grandma Burns and Me celebrating our communal birthdays.

Grandma and Grandpa Burns and the little ones

WENZEL

Yes you may think it obscene of naming your family dog after the last name of an ex-girlfriend, but it has washed off through extensive bleating of this name into the yard. Wenzel has been with the family for about two three years, she was cute as a puppy, I tripped over her and she limped the rest of the night. I think I may have damaged her hip permanately, thus I feel obligated to play fetch with her at any time. She attacks me whenever I beat up on my sisters or Mom, and helps them when they attack me. She once bit me in the crotch, my Mom laughed, I wiped the sweat from my brow and sighed. We might have to give her away when we move this summer, so if anybody wants a dog that barks at anything, especially my dad playing guitar, then please adopt this nice bitch.